Narcissism is a personality disorder in which the person falls in love with himself. The narcissist has an inflated sense of self-worth; he thinks that he is better than most people, that he is a superior person, and is invulnerable.
If one of your friends is a narcissist, you can quickly identify him by his continued talk about his marvelous achievements, his superior intelligence, or his breathtaking beauty.
The following are the common symptoms that Narcissists have:
- Striving for Attention: Narcissists Fuel their self-confidence by the compliments they receive, by being in the center of attention, and by knowing that people are talking about their superior talents. Without these supply sources (called the narcissistic supply sources), the narcissist feels worthless and may even become depressed.
- Exaggerating their Worth: Narcissists think that they are omnipotent, invincible, and superior. They continuously try to transfer this belief to those surrounding them to get their reward, which is the narcissistic supply. The narcissist always talks about how good he is and how brilliant he is compared to others.
- Lacking Empathy: I hate to overgeneralize, but most narcissists care only about their feelings. They can take advantage of others or use them to secure a source of narcissistic supply. They only care about their own emotions, and they lack empathy when dealing with others.
- Obsessed With Fantasies of Unlimited Success: The Narcissist’s mind is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, superiority, ultimate achievements, tremendous strength, and everlasting fame.
- Expects Others to Glorify him: The narcissist considers himself above the law, and he expects others to deal with him according to the inflated valuation of his self-worth.
The Narcissistic Wound, Are Narcissists Really Superior?
When I used to meet people who think of themselves as superior beings, I used to bow for them. I felt that those people were super confident because they were different than others, and I was right about it; those people are different because they are deeply wounded.
When a child is abused or experiences some kind of trauma, his mind tries to find out a method to help him forget about his wounds and prevent this abuse from happening again, And as a method of defense, narcissism is developed.
Feeling that he is weak, insecure, and vulnerable, he escapes to a new identity, An identity of a superior person who can’t be harmed. This is most narcissists’ story, a deep sense of inferiority masked by a concrete shell.
Why do you think the narcissist wants to be feared? Why do you think he wants to be ultimately decisive? Why do you think he wants to have tremendous achievements? Because he is afraid Because he is frail and because he believes that he is worthless.
It’s a game of compensation; people always strive to get what they lack. If you are after ultimate power, you are dramatically weak, and if you are after excessive admiration, you are feeling worthless.
Getting over Narcissism
If you are a narcissist, you will probably escape reading this section because you will think that you are superior to me and that my advice is useless to you; however, if you decided to sacrifice your narcissism for the sake of personal balance, then keep reading.
The first thing you should do is know your enemy; you are trying to exaggerate your self-worth because deep inside you, there are feelings of inferiority. It will help if you direct your efforts towards getting over this wound and not anywhere else.
For some reason, you felt insecure, so you have built this shield to protect your true self. This is the time where you should collect your courage to look beneath this shield. Even if you didn’t like what you will find there, you should move on because it’s the only way to personal balance.
I know that part of your self-worth is based on real achievements and real-life success, and I know that you possess some special abilities, and that’s why you should have no problem in facing your authentic self and healing your wounded inner child.
So to summarize this all, explore your wounds, deal with them, and let go of your shield.
Narcissism Vs. Overconfidence
There is a thin line between narcissism and overconfidence. I can’t describe one of them without mentioning the other as they are strongly connected; however, not all overconfident people are narcissists.
Overconfidence results from overestimating your abilities and skills due to positive past experiences or previous success; on the other hand, narcissism is thinking that you are superior and omnipotent.
If you are overconfident, I can’t tell you anything else other than taking care. Lack of self-confidence can hold you back, but overconfidence can cost you everything, including your life. While a lack of confidence can force you to stay at home instead of facing life, overconfidence can motivate you to jump in the sea even if you can’t swim.
Dealing with the Narcissist
Contrary to common beliefs controlling a narcissist is as easy as using the Nintendo wee game console to play tennis ( I am assuming that you have at least five years of experience with video games :). Here are a few tips for dealing with narcissists
- Bothering Him Much or even depressing Him: Ignoring a narcissist or being indifferent to him can kill him. Although he will devalue you for doing it still, it will cause him much pain. Of course, I am not telling you this information to use against narcissists, but this is an article about narcissism, so it should include real-life facts about them.
- Directing Him Somewhere: Tell any narcissist that he can never learn Chinese and then leave him alone. You will probably find that he started Chinese courses a few weeks later to prove to you that he is superior and that you were wrong.
- Make him Love You: Complement him, show him that you are impressed by his skills, and tell him that you believe that he superior and he will be your best friend. This, of course, won’t be a true friendship because he got closer to you as a result of considering you a new source of narcissistic supply.
Impressing a narcissist is very simple. Just convince him that you can do something important to him better than him, and he will become impressed. You could make narcissists and arrogant people fall in love with you by making them believe that you are superior to them. When you make those people think that you are more powerful than them, they will stick to you like your shadow.
Final Words to Narcissists
Hey Narcissists, unlike most people, I do believe that you are healthy and robust. I am sure that narcissism won’t have become a part of your personality if there weren’t any loyal base for this strength you claim.
I know that you are achievers, intelligent, and skilled, but you still lack two things, balance and solid self-worth.
Why don’t you keep the positive part of narcissism while fixing the negative aspects?
Build your real self-worth and live with your true strength without your wearing your masks.
You are already strong then why are you faking it? And remember, even if you spent 50 years going in a direction other than the path of personal balance, one day, you would discover that balance is the right thing to seek.