Attention Seeking Behaviour in Adults

Whenever you find someone acting on the extreme side, know that he is compensating for something on the other side.

Some adults strive for attention and pay any price to get it. Those attention-seeking adults may do inappropriate things like lying to get attention, or they may engage in more constructive behavior like striving for success and recognition just for the sake of getting attention.

Not all attention seekers are doing so because of a personality disorder. Still, if the person started to sacrifice some of his values for the sake of attention, then it’s probably the result of an underlying condition.

Why do some people strive for attention?

If, as a child, the person did not receive much attention from his parents or peers, he may grow up feeling neglected. Those feelings will then be the main drive behind the person’s attention-seeking behavior.

Abusive parents and parents who are always absent usually make their children feel overlooked, and so the child may grow up becoming attention seeking adult.

Sometimes adults seek attention because of jealousy. When someone finds himself threatened by another person who takes all the attention he is supposed to get, he may respond with attention-seeking behavior.

Lack of self-worth can be another cause for attention-seeking behavior. Some people think that they are overlooked, so they believe that the only solution to restore their balance is to bring back the lost attention. The attention they will get in this case will reassure them and help them think that they are worthy.

Arrogant & overconfident people may seek attention because they have the feeling that they deserve to be in the center of attention. Because they aren’t mature enough, they still think with their inner child’s mentality, making them believe that they are the world’s center.

Usually, the child thinks that he is the center of the universe around which all other objects revolve. If the child’s way of thinking didn’t mature, he would grow up thinking that he is the world’s center to be an attention-seeking adult.

Narcissists are also attention seekers. They consider this attention a good source of narcissistic supply, and so they strive to get it. If you ignore a narcissist, he would hate you, especially if he hoped to get some attention from you.

The desire to be taken care of and the desire to be the center of someone’s attention can make you have a hard time trying to get over someone. In this case, getting over the person only requires you to deal with your attention-seeking behavior by understanding it more.

Lots of people say that you should ignore attention seekers. However, the correct way to deal with them is to understand the drives behind their behavior and then help them instead of ignoring them.

Why do some people need more attention than others?

Indeed, no human being ever likes to be overlooked or ignored, but some people seem to need more attention than others.

• Why would a person become a show-off?
• Why would a person strive to be in the center of attention?
• Why do some people can’t live happily unless they are in the spotlight?

As children, we start to develop our desires and drives based upon the experiences we are put through. These become the main drivers behind our behavior for the rest of our lives unless something forces these drives to be changed.

How does the need for attention develops?

Below are some of the experiences a person might get subjected to that might help develop the need for attention drive.

• Being dethroned by a younger child: If a child was getting all the attention of his parents, then suddenly he lost most of this attention to the newly born child, he will start to do his best to capture this attention once again. Now the need for attention drive has been developed, and if it were left that way, the child would grow to become attention seeking adult who does everything to capture the attention he lost earlier.
• Thinking that people are looking down on him: Is one of the principal reasons for showing off. A person sometimes shows off because of believing that others are looking down on him. By showing up, the person attempts to elevate his value in front of others.
• Being an only child: You might wonder how an only child learns to strive for attention even though he gets all the attention he needs? in this case, the child gets used to being in the center of attention because, after all, he is the only child. When that child grows up, or when any child grows up, he tries to reconstruct his little environment (the one he had at home) if it was pleasant. As a result, this child learns how to strive for attention to maintain what he already had earlier.
• Feeling overlooked: I remember when I used to give personal development sessions how sometimes I come across a person who knows very little and insists on proving me wrong while I was talking. That person believes that he has some knowledge and, at the same time, feels that others overlook him. In such a case, he does his best to show off to let people notice him. In short, showing off, in this case, is a cry for help.

Are there other reasons behind the need for attention?

Yes, Those were only a few examples, but the mechanism will be the same in all cases.

The person will come across some situations that will let him develop the drive for attention, and then he will live the rest of his life trying to satisfy that drive.

Why do people crave attention?

Why do some people crave attention? We all need attention to a certain extent because we are social beings, but why do some people seem to be doing everything to get more attention?

For example, if a man has a small amount of money then spent all that he has got to buy a sports car, this shows us that this man is dying for attention to the extent that he started making illogical decisions.

Our childhood experiences affect our adulthood and can even result in severe personality changes. People who crave attention were raised in such a way that made attention-seeking behavior an essential part of maintaining their psychological balance.

This article will tell you about some of the real-life examples that result in such behavior.

Reasons why some people crave attention

An only child with no brothers or sisters got used to being in the center of attention in his house. When a child grows up, he will always try to replicate the favorable conditions he used to live in. That’s why, in most cases, an only child craves attention when he becomes an adult.

Sometimes a person might feel overlooked or not appropriated, and that’s why he craves attention. Whenever I make a session anywhere, there is always that person who jumps out in the middle interrupting me to show people that he knows a lot about the subject I am talking about. Because that person feels he is overlooked, he does his best to get some attention.

A superiority complex can sometimes be the reason a person craves attention. Sometimes some people get involved in dangerous behavior to get attention. In fact, those people aren’t doing it for attention as much as they are doing it to cover their flaws.

After all, if someone appeared superior, no one will bother looking for his real defects, or that’s how the person thinks.

Some people crave attention because they feel jealous as a result of finding someone else in the spotlight. This happens in the house when one kid gets more attention than the other when one popular kid steals the attention of the opposite sex and in any place where someone is favored over the others.

Can I stop craving attention?

Yes, the good news is that you can stop craving attention provided that you treat the underlying root cause. For example, if a man feels less successful than his friends, he might try to steal attention whenever people talk about work.

Now, if that man managed to become successful and felt satisfied with his success, he won’t crave attention anymore.

Since I achieved financial success at a young age, I avoid talking about work in the company of others because I don’t need any more attention in that area.

I still remember the last time a new friend asked me what do you do, and I told her, “I don’t work; I just stay at home all day.” Of course, I was kidding, but I didn’t feel that I wanted to get some attention by telling her something like, I am a dot com millionaire who works from home (which is a fact).

Had that conversation happened a few years ago, I might have craved attention by talking about anything instead of saying what I said.