Anger Management: Understanding and Controlling Anger

Anger is a powerful emotion that can lead to both positive and negative outcomes. Have you ever wondered what causes that intense feeling to bubble up inside you, or why one moment you’re calm and the next you find yourself in the grip of anger? Understanding and controlling anger is key to not only maintaining healthy relationships and achieving a sense of personal well-being, but it can also prevent the regret that often comes from actions taken in the heat of the moment.

What Is Anger and Why Do We Experience It?

Anger is a natural, though sometimes unwanted or irrational, emotion that everybody experiences from time to time. It’s a response to perceived threats and can cause us to fight and defend ourselves when we feel attacked. However, it becomes problematic when it gets out of control and turns destructive.

Recognizing the Triggers of Anger

Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (like a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.

The Physiology of Anger

When you get angry, your body releases chemicals, such as adrenaline and noradrenaline, which prepare your body for physical action. This is a natural process that affects your heart rate and blood pressure. It’s part of the ‘fight or flight’ response system, but in situations where you can’t fight or flee, this energy becomes suppressed, which can lead to health problems.

Constructive vs. Destructive Anger

Not all anger is bad. Constructive anger can serve as a motivational force to address injustice, solve problems, and correct wrongs. On the other hand, destructive anger can harm your health and relationships if left unchecked.

Short-Term and Long-Term Effects of Anger

Unmanaged anger can contribute to many personal and social problems, such as physical abuse, road rage, workplace issues, and family disputes. Over time, chronic anger can cause long-term health issues such as hypertension, heart disease, depression, and digestive problems.

Strategies for Managing Anger

Controlling anger before it controls you can be challenging but it’s essential for leading a balanced life. Here are some strategies that can help:

• Express your anger in assertive—not aggressive—ways. Being assertive doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.
• Once calm, express your anger as soon as possible so that you aren’t stewing in your feelings and possibly letting them build up to an unmanageable level.
• Exercise can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you’re about to erupt. Go for a brisk walk or run, swim, lift weights, or shoot baskets.
• Use relaxation techniques like deep breathing exercises, visualization, or practicing yoga or meditation.
• Keep a diary of your anger outbursts, to understand and recognize patterns in your triggers.
• Problem-solving is something you have to work on, even if it doesn’t solve your anger issue. Not every problem will result in resolution, but it’s a start.
• Communication is key. Learning how to listen and how to speak are important skills that can help prevent anger management problems.
• Humor can help diffuse rage in many situations. However, it’s important not to use sarcasm, as this can hurt others and make things worse.
• Learn conflict resolution skills. Not every conflict needs to escalate into a fight.
• Consider seeking help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret, or hurts those around you.

Professional Help and Therapies

There are several types of therapy aimed at helping individuals with anger issues. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is one such program that has proven to be effective. CBT works by altering individuals’ thoughts and behaviors to help change their feelings. Another helpful resource is The Anger Management Workbook and Curriculum, by Rich Pfeiffer, which offers a comprehensive guide to anger management strategies.

Putting Anger Management into Practice

Maintaining control over your anger requires practice. This involves recognizing when you get angry, figuring out what triggers that anger, and taking steps to calm down and deal with the situation productively. Practicing mindfulness can also keep you anchored in the present moment and help you understand your emotions better.

Remember, everyone has different triggers for what makes them angry, but most people have some kind of predictability in these triggers. Recognize your patterns, accept that anger is a normal emotion, and practice managing it constructively.

Finishing Thoughts

Anger is a complex emotion that serves a role in our lives, but it shouldn’t take the driver’s seat. Taking steps to understand and manage your anger constructively can lead to better health, improved relationships, and a more fulfilling life. Can you identify what makes you angry, and are you willing to take steps to manage it? The road to handling anger better isn’t easy, but the rewards—peace of mind, better health, and stronger relationships—are worth the effort.