Falling in Love with your Abuser

The story of Jessica

Jessica had a bad experience with her first relationship. She fell in love with a man who turned out to be aggressive, emotionally absent, and abusive.

After months of suffering and after all of her friends stood beside her to help her recover from that abusive relationship, she started living her normal life once again.

A few months later, she met another person and got attracted to him despite her friends’ warnings. When she goes into a relationship with that person, she discovered that he was an exact copy of her previous partner!

Why do people fall for the same type over and over

The way people are raised determines the type of persons they get attracted to.

Your past experiences will usually affect the way you perceive others and, as a result, help you get attracted to the best person for you.

Now here is where the puzzle lies; if a person was attracted to someone who turned out to be abusive, why will he get attracted to similar people later on?

It’s because their subconscious minds want to give them the chance to win the battle that they lost earlier!

Our subconscious mind always forms associations by connecting unrelated objects. Our minds believe that people who look alike might share the same personality traits.

When a person gets abused, he might feel like wanting to become powerful to control his abuser. Now when the person fails to do so, he might get attracted to a new person who shares certain traits with that abuser to give himself the chance to try again!

If that person won this time, then his subconscious mind will believe that he revenged for what happened to him earlier.

Why don’t all people fall for their abusers?

Why do some people learn to avoid anyone who reminds them of their abusers while others go for the ones who resemble their abusers?

It’s because people develop different lifestyles as a result of the way they were raised. If a person got through certain life experiences and was raised in such an environment that made him stubborn,¬†then there is a big possibility that he will chase people who look like his abuser (because he is too stubborn to admit defeat).

On the other hand, if a person was raised differently, he might prefer to avoid the dangers of getting hurt or mistreated once again.

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